Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Love hurts

First of all, mad props to Lauren for getting this blog started. I look forward to my contributions following the trajectory of all other blogs: really frequent in the beginning, getting more sporadic after a couple of weeks, and finally petering off after a few months when I realize that no one really cares about what I have to say. But I digress...

Yesterday at work, I was (in a not-too-shocking development) cruising the interwebs rather than legitimately earning my salary. Maybe I was just thinking about how much I love "Law and Order: SVU," or maybe I was thinking about how horny and hypocritical Republicans are (see: Foley, Mark), but I decided to pass the time by looking up "sex scandals" on Wikipedia.

Through my extensive reading, I came away with two things:

1.) I understand why some people stay virgins until marriage. This peen-in-vagine stuff makes people do some crazy things.

2.) This one is so freaky, I read it twice. I insist you do the same:

Looking forward to Megan taking a break from "kissing" Rudy, Marissa taking a break from "touching" lesbians, Brad taking a break from "making" movies, Sophie taking a break from "reading" Twilight, Jackie taking a break from "riding" horses, and Erika taking a break from literally vomiting all over bar kitchens to contribute to the blog.

On an unrelated note, I suggested that Lauren formally change the name of Mr. Bigglesworth to Kitty Bitchtitz Stankbreath Scheuer. Thoughts?


MRonk said...

Reading stories like that actually makes me wonder why I'm not a lesbian.


Lauren said...

.... seriously .... wrapped his junk in a magazine cover then put on his underwear?! I stopped reading after "I unwrapped the paper holding them and gazed at his penis and scrotum. I put his penis in my mouth and even tried to insert it inside me..."

I puked in my mouth