Thursday, September 24, 2009

Put down the hot glue gun and no one gets hurt

Alright turd burglars,

The last blog posts have focused on things that are often overheard as discussion topics in the Crafts Department of Bed, Bath, and Beyond: unemployment, pet obsession, technological incompetence and, worst of all, Bonnie Hunt. This must stop...and I have taken it upon myself to lead us out of this Christmas Sweater Wilderness*.

I might suggest that some of you start getting into these amazing TLC Medical Mysteries shows. My personal favorites are the one about the 16-year-old baby and the one about Abigail and Brittany, awesome conjoined twins. Once you see them, they also make hilarious scenarios to act out in drunken pictures. Please check the links below.


Finally, in honor of Rosh Hashanah, I decided to make (Jewish) New Year's Resolutions.

1.) To re-commit to running the Austin half-marathon in January (congrats to Freaq Nast, P.S.)
2.) To re-commit myself to ending my involuntary descent into the priesthood (e.g., when a girl you are kinda crushin' on tells you when you're out at a bar that she has some snacks back at her place, don't ask "what snacks," just go)
3.) To be nicer to Megan about her love for Bonnie Hunt

I guess two outta three ain't bad.

* The term "Christmas Sweater Wilderness," meaning a melancholy, uneventful, distinctly goyishe existence, is a registered copyright of Dylan Stern.

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